Dum Spiro Spero
by Lamia of the Dark
Summary: "While I breathe, I hope." A collection of oneshots in which Petunia becomes a part of the magical world, in various ways.
1. Kyōkotsu no Nari

**DISLCAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling.**

**A/N:** "Dum spiro spero" is Latin for "While I breathe, I hope."

Dir en Grey's 2011 album of the same name is the inspiration for this collection, and each chapter will be an unrelated oneshot inspired by one of the songs.

~ Dum Spiro Spero ~

- Track 1: Kyōkotsu no Nari (The Cry of Lunatic Bone) -

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," Dumbledore said softly.

Lily and James glanced at each other, both wondering not _what_ the bad news was but _who_ it was.

"What happened?" James asked, unable to keep a note of apprehension out of his voice.

"You'll remember we had a full moon a few nights ago..."

_Oh no. No, no, no! Not Remus, don't let anything bad have happened to him while he was in werewolf form, don't tell me he's bitten someone, please God no_. Somehow James managed to keep this litany of fears from escaping his mouth.

As though he did not notice the couple's distress at his pronouncement, Dumbledore continued, "It seems the Death Eaters thought to flush the two of you out of hiding by sending Fenrir Greyback to, ah... shall we say, _visit_... your sister."

"Is she... is she..."

In her shock, Lily couldn't quite seem to choke out the rest of the question. However, it wasn't hard to guess what she meant.

"She is alive," Dumbledore answered.

"But," James said, "that means she's a werewolf now?"

"That is precisely what it means."

"What about her husband?" James asked.

"He was not present at the time of the attack. And since being informed of Petunia's condition, he has regrettably chosen to have nothing further to do with her."

Dumbledore might find it regrettable, but James thought his sister-in-law was well rid of the ill-mannered brute. He had never liked Vernon, and even if Petunia wasn't as pretty or kind as her sister, she surely could have found someone better than Vernon Dursley.

"So, he's what? Initiated divorce proceedings?" James inquired - his curiosity getting the better of him, even though he realized that he probably shouldn't be asking such a thing.

"It seems that he has been telling the neighbors that she died in a car crash. He has even gone so far as to arrange for a funeral."

James felt like there was something he was forgetting. But, what could it be?

"What about the baby?" Lily piped up. "They have a son, about Harry's age..."

She looked up at Dumbledore with hope shining in her eyes, but the old wizard shook his head sadly.

"The healers did everything they could, but a child that young has never survived a werewolf's bite."

Lily pressed her face against her husband's shoulder and wept.

James and Dumbledore continued to discuss the situation, but Lily couldn't make sense of what they were saying over the sound of her own sobs.

Petunia had always been jealous, had always wanted to be a part of the magical world somehow... but not _this_ way.

~ end of track 1 ~

**A/N: Reviews are always appreciated.**


	2. The Blossoming Beelzebub

~ Dum Spiro Spero ~

_The world I see sideways is unexpectedly new_. -Dir en Grey, "The Blossoming Beelzebub"

- Track 2: The Blossoming Beelzebub -

It was the end of their 4th year at Hogwarts. Severus and Lily got off the train together.

Lily's family was waiting for her on the platform. No one was waiting for Severus.

Lily rushed to embrace her scowling sister. Severus trailed after his friend, uncertain as to what he should do. He didn't want to go home yet, didn't want to leave the magic that was Lily's presence... but he also didn't want to intrude on her time with her family.

After receiving a half-hearted pat on the back from her less-than-enthusiastic sister, Lily had moved on to be hugged by her parents.

Petunia was standing slightly apart from the rest of her family, looking pointedly away as her parents fussed over their little witch. Severus stopped a few steps away from her.

"Hi," he awkwardly greeted his childhood enemy.

"Hello," she replied warily.

Why was that weird Snape boy even speaking to her?

She didn't have a chance to find out, because at that moment a crowd of boys approached and hijacked Snape's attention.

"Who are you talking to, Snivellus?" one of the boys asked, throwing an arm around Severus's shoulders in a mock-friendly gesture.

"Ooh, Snivelly has a girlfriend!" another one crowed.

"Get off me, Black," Severus snapped as he pulled away from Sirius. "And shut up, Pettigrew! She's not my girlfriend; she's Lily's sister."

James, who had been staring at Lily rather than taking the opportunity to tease Snape, perked up at the sound of that.

The fourth boy, who had been hanging back with a faintly embarrassed expression until this point, stepped forward and - with a weak smile - introduced himself as Remus Lupin and shook Petunia's hand.

Following Lupin's lead, Peter also introduced himself politely. His hand was sweaty and Petunia made no attempt to hide her disgust as she wiped her own hand on her dress after shaking with him.

"It's nice to meet you, Petunia. I'm James Potter, your future brother-in-law."

Hearing him introduce himself this way, Petunia couldn't help but laugh out loud - and she looked straight at Severus as she did it. Lily's future husband, was he, this Potter? Snape scowled back at her, which only set her off laughing harder.

Her laughter died in her throat as James pulled her into a hug. She'd been expecting him to shake her hand, like his other two friends had, not... not this! She was being _hugged_ - in _public_ - by a _wizard_.

James turned Petunia loose, and promptly began an argument with Severus which sounded as though it might escalate into a duel. As those two attracted the rest of her family's attention (as well as that of many bystanders in the train station), Petunia found herself unexpectedly swept into an embrace for the second time in as many minutes.

"I don't think we've been properly introduced," the boy holding her murmured, his lips against her ear. "I'm Sirius Black, James's best friend."

Somehow, Petunia did not find herself objecting to being held by him. Out of all the teenage wizards in this group, Sirius was easily the most handsome. Possibly also the most charming - although the quiet one (Rembrandt?) did have a certain charm about him, as well.

"I'll be the best man at their wedding," Sirius continued, "and Lily will probably want you as her maid of honor, so you can be my date to the wedding."

"Alright," Petunia found herself agreeing. "If she she ends up with Potter and not Snape, I'll be your date to their wedding."

Three years later, he held her to that promise.

~ end of track 2 ~

**A/N: Reviews are always appreciated.**


	3. Different Sense

~ Dum Spiro Spero ~

_Scratching at your chest, unable to leave a scar - love. It's an ideal of the person you imitated._ -Dir en Grey, "Different Sense"

- Track 3: Different Sense -

"Just let him cry," Vernon grumbles as I get up. "Doesn't that ruddy book say they should be able to self-soothe at this age?"

_You wouldn't say that if our son was the one crying_. But Dudley isn't the one who has nightmares.

Out loud, I say only, "I can't sleep through the noise."

By the time I reach the doorway of our bedroom, Vernon is snoring.

_Pig_.

When I scoop my sister's child from the crib, he quiets down almost instantly. He is still crying, but not nearly as vociferously.

Dudley sleeps in a toddler bed now, and Harry sleeps in Dudley's old crib - because Vernon refuses to "waste money" on proper furniture for a child who is not his. It's not that he doesn't have the money to do it. He enjoys the control; it's _his_ money and he'll do with it as he sees fit. I have none of my own, and with two toddlers to raise, it isn't as though I could simply be free of him by finding a job of my own. Marrying the blustery walrus is a mistake I can't unmake. All that's left of my family is in this house with me and I burned my bridges long ago; I have no one to whom I could run.

"Mama," my nephew sniffles, burying his face against my shoulder.

I don't know whether he's mistaken me for Lily in the dark or if he has purposely used that name for _me_. Either way, if Vernon ever heard him calling me that... I shudder to think of the consequences.

"No, honey," I say as gently as I can. "It's Aunt Petunia."

"Tuna," he murmurs. This attempt at pronouncing my name is said in much the same tone as the other and I still _don't know_.

* * *

I almost don't recognize her at first.

What I do recognize are the signs of abuse. From the fading bruise on her jaw to the way she carries herself... I am reminded unpleasantly of my own mother.

"There's a man staring at you," the child clinging to her skirts says. A boy (her son?) - four, perhaps five years of age. I hear his words clearly, even though it seems the child was attempting to whisper. Although, I suppose he wanted to make sure he was heard over the yells of a portly lump of a child who is currently having a meltdown in the middle of the store.

She reaches down to ruffle the child's already-messy hair and says, "He's probably staring at your cousin, who is _being ridiculous_."

Her voice, unlike the boy's, is intentionally pitched to carry. It is also startlingly familiar to me.

"_No_, Petunia-fish," the clinging child hisses urgently. "He's staring at _you_."

"Petunia?" I call out to her before I have time to think better of it.

Upon hearing my voice, her head snaps up and she stares at me like she's seen a ghost.

_Gods, it really is her_. I haven't seen her since we were teenagers. And the boy - the one clinging to her, the one with the messy black hair - is Lily's son. Which means the butterball screaming on the floor must be Petunia's child.

"Petunia-fish, do you know him?" Harry asks, looking up at his aunt with wide eyes.

"Yes," she answers softly. I can't hear her over the cacophony of her son's tantrum, but I can read the movements of her lips. "He was a friend of your mother's."

"Does that mean he's a wi-" The child's face scrunches in concentration as he cuts himself short. "-happy person?" he finishes the question.

She nods once to confirm.

He grins as he steps away from his aunt's side and waves happily at me. And I see that his cheek is decorated with an ugly purple starburst - a much fresher bruise than the one his aunt is currently sporting on her own face. I wonder how many more they are both hiding. He catches me staring - or perhaps my thoughts show in my expression - and he turns to hide his face in his aunt's skirts once more.

_Perceptive child_.

I step closer to them, so that I may speak to her without competing to be heard over her son's continued shrieks.

"Petunia... do you need help?"

A blush heats her cheeks as she glances at her out-of-control child.

"He'll wear himself out eventually," she says.

"That isn't what I meant and you know it."

"I just..." she trails off, apparently unable to finish whatever she was going to say, still refusing to meet my gaze.

I wait.

When she finally looks up at me, there are tears in her eyes.

"Severus..."

It looks like it's up to me to take the lead here. If she had thought herself capable of getting out of her unfortunate situation, she would have done it years ago, I'm sure.

I sigh.

"You can stay at my house until we find a more permanent solution. I'll write to Dumbledore this evening."

* * *

"Why does Harry call you Petunia-fish?"

"When he first started trying to say my name he called me 'Tuna'. And when I tried to teach him to pronounce it correctly, I told him that I'm not a fish. He thought it was funny."

"What about _happy people_ as a euphemism for wizards and witches?"

"I needed to teach him to call them something that wouldn't make Vernon suspicious if he overheard us talking about them."

"So, you did teach him about magic, then?"

"Of course."

"And you also needed a euphemism for that, so... you called it what?"

"Happiness."

~ end of track 3 ~

**A/N: Reviews are always appreciated.**


	4. Amon

**A/N: ****This chapter was also written for the HPFC Inspiration Strikes challenge, round 5. (The non-Dir-en-Grey quote before the chapter title was the ISC prompt.)**

~ Dum Spiro Spero ~

_If I were to foolishly raise the voice of fear, then somewhere..._  
_Dreams will be ablaze and living will be out of reach._  
_Prey._  
_Adore._  
-Dir en Grey, "Amon"

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." - Ambrose Bierce

- Track 4: Amon -

"What happened to your face?" Alecto asked in a taunting tone.

Greyback, choosing to ignore the fact that she meant to provoke him, idly rubbed the back of his hand against the slash marks on his cheek as he replied, "It's been a long time since we had a feral female in the pack."

Alecto scowled disapprovingly.

"You say that like it's a good thing."

"Oh, I'm having fun trying to tame her," Greyback said, licking blood from his hand. The lacerations on his face had yet to completely scab over, continually cracking open whenever he talked.

"You're not planning to _mate_ with her, are you?" Alecto asked, distaste dripping from every syllable.

"So what if I am?" he returned. While he was utterly unconcerned with matters of blood purity, he was curious as to why the dark witch would inquire about his sexual intentions toward the newest member of his pack.

"She used to be a muggle!" Alecto spat.

"Again, so what?" Greyback replied, quirking an eyebrow. "She's a werewolf now. And I'm the alpha of my pack."

"But... you..." the witch sputtered, seemingly having lost the ability to form a coherent sentence in her rage.

"I can do magic, which means I used to be a wizard," Greyback recited in a bored tone. "So you don't know why I would _mate with_ a creature that used to be a muggle." He threw the term Alecto had used back at her as if he resented that she'd used a word usually reserved for animals rather than one she would use when speaking of interactions between humans. When she failed to reply, he went on, "Do you even know what my blood status was before I was turned? No, of course you don't... and I don't need any damn mind-magic to know that you're thinking I was maybe, _maybe_, a half-blood - but probably a mudblood." He paused to note her expression but did not give her time to speak. "I was a pureblood, Alecto, one of your _precious_ purebloods! Greyback isn't my real name, not the one I was born with anyway, and fuck if I even remember what my first name used to be. I didn't care then and I don't care now, I did - _and will_ - fuck whoever I want and, yes, that's how I got myself bitten in the first place. So just fuck off out of my personal life, alright?!"

He was out of breath after his tirade, chest heaving, blood flowing freely down the side of his face where Petunia had raked him with her claws.

Alecto stared at him for a few long moments, and when it seemed that he was not going to start up again, she swallowed and put forth tentatively, "Which family...?"

"Fuck, is that _bullshit_ really all you care about?" he snarled, turning away from her to slam his fist against the wall.

Plaster rained down on them from the ceiling and Alecto flinched.

"You know the cause is important to me. I wouldn't have joined the Death Eaters if it weren't," she said softly, struggling to keep her tone even. She knew the werewolf was volatile, but she had never truly been afraid of him before. This conversation had taken a dangerous turn but she was determined to see it through. And after his revelation, she couldn't just walk away from this without _knowing_. "Which family?" she repeated.

"Not yours," he said with a bark of humorless laughter. He paused, long enough to let her wonder whether he was going to actually give a real answer or not, enjoying watching her squirm, before he finally told her: "Greengrass."

Greyback shook the plaster dust from his hair and took a half-hearted swipe at the mess of blood and dust on his cheek, before turning his back on Alecto and stalking off down the hall.

And she was tempted, oh-so-tempted, to shoot a curse at his retreating back. Because, really, how dare he turn his back on her, as if she were no threat? But, if he truly didn't care about the things he said he did not care about... then, if she provoked him further, what was to stop him from biting _her_?

~ end of track 4 ~

**A/N: I know, I know... Petunia wasn't really the focus of this chapter. But now you know what happened to her after track 1!**

**Reviews are always appreciated.**


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